Non-Medical Medical Lingo
I talk a lot about medicalese and the problems it creates for patients–but I figured I’d go through some lingo we use that’s not necessarily medical in nature, but definitely used by doctors and nurses. (But maybe these are mostly California/West Coast, I’m not sure.)
- To buy: To take an action (order a test, do a procedure) based on a patient’s signs or symptoms. Takes the patient as a direct object. Example: She told me she had black stools, so I felt bad, but I figured that at least bought her a rectal exam.
Given his complaint of chest pain and risk factors for heart disease, that alone bought him an aspirin. - To ding: To be chastised or disciplined for not knowing something or not doing something correctly. Example: The hospital got dinged for not having patient privacy guidelines in place.
My attending dinged me for chewing gum in front of a patient.
- To rectalize: To do a rectal exam on a patient. Example: Hey, did you rectalize that patient in 7B?
So, I tried to rectalize him, but there was so much fat, I couldn’t find the anus! - Orthopod, noun. An orthopedic surgeon. Example: What’s the difference between an orthopod and a carpenter?
The carpenter knows the name of more than one antibiotic. - To spin, to scan. To do a CT scan on a patient. Example: He’s got a lot of chest wall tenderness–if we’re going to spin the abdomen and pelvis, we might as well scan the chest.
- Cards, noun. Cardiology. Example: Cards won’t take the patient–they don’t think it’s heart related.
- Pedi (pee-dee), noun. Pediatrician. Example: The patient’s pedi is Dr. Torrez at Menlo Clinic.
- Appy, noun. Appendix or appendicitis. Example: White count, fever, nausea, rebound tenderness at McBurney’s point–classic appy!
More as I think of them. Feel free to comment with your own.
“Appy” also becomes a noun meaning the person who has or had appendicitis.
Consider also:
“Box” (die)
“GOMER” (get out of my emergency room – a frequent flyer, usually a drunk)
“Frequent Flyer” (see above)
“Flea” (not sure what this means)
“neuron”: neurologist
“pitchfork”: psychiatrist
“to snow”: overly sedate
“vampire”: phlebotomist
“to pimp”: Socratic questioning
“strong work”: a phrase that connotes praise for hard work, knowledge (I dislike this phrase and now use it sarcastically)
“gunner”: an overly competitive colleague who usually alienates others because of his behaviors and self-commentary
“sick” – a patient at risk of dying soon. Example: “The ER was busy, but none of the patients were really that sick.”
“lab up” – to order multiple tests on a patient Example: “I don’t know what is wrong with Mr. Jones, so I’m just going to lab him up.”
“Foleytize” – to put a foley catheter into the bladder. Example: “You, med student, go foleytize that patient!” (See also rectalize)
“the unit” – the Intensive Care Unit
“crump” – to go downhill fast, at risk of going to “the unit”. Example: “I hope Mr. S doesn’t crump tonight when I’m on call”
“gorked” – intubated
“nephron” – a nephrologist
“euboxic” – all lab values are in normal range. Example: The patient is euboxic lets send him home.
“Sputum Doc” – Pulmonologist
“AOA” – Adult Onset Anencephaly
“Code Brown” – fecal incontinence
“Dermaholiday” – one of less intense rotations as an intern or resident. I have also heard of Rheumaholiday but it was a busy rotation where I trained.
“Wall” – a physician that resists admitting patients at any cost. Example: Hey, I’m on call tonight try and be a wall.
i think you meant “Torres”
also: FLK — Funny Looking Kid
GLM = good looking mom
When I was a hospital phone operator, I tried to get the other operators to think that the correct term for the GI doc is “gastropod”, but they didn’t buy it. Man, I really would have been thrilled if that had taken root.
in the like of rectalize and the above foleytize, to pelvicize is to perform a pelvic exam.
also, many of our interns and med students are eager to intubate, so we let them intubate the bladder (aka, place the foley)