Defined By My Work Load
I got into a nice yelling match with a close friend last night (who will inevitably read this, I’m sure). This is not news. We do this every couple months or so. Very healthy.
Reflecting back, it’s kind of interesting to see why I was mad at him-he had insinuated that I have loads of free time because during one of my study breaks, I had emailed him a website I thought he might enjoy. He found this suspect, because when he called me while I was “in the zone” studying, interupting my train of thought, I didn’t stay on the phone long, and excused myself to get back to work.
And then I realized how totally defined I am by my hard work. Other people are, too, I suppose, but what else do I have to show for it? No paying job, no major source of income besides hundreds of thousands of dollars of student loans. I can only impress people by my perserverance and my knowledge. So of course I was insulted; telling a medical student that he or she is not working hard enough is both a) nowhere further from the truth and b) insulting to one’s core definition (What a does a med student do? Study, study, study.)
I’d have (and have had) a similar reaction when the same friend, not coincidentally, denigrates my knowledge (or any other person). They’re usually kidding, sure, but I still take offense. If my knowledge is devalued, what else do I have to pride myself on?
I knew medical school messed people up, but this is really sad that I now define myself this way.
hehe. WTF?
You don’t want to be defined… Don’t give people something on which they can define you.
I’m not saying you have to bottle up your woes and never share them.
Just don’t ever whine about your hard work as an excuse. It’s not. ;) It’s never an excuse for anything.
Excuses are meaningless anyway. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
You don’t owe anybody any explanations or excuses for how you spend your time, on studying, surfing the web, or whatever it might be. It’s your time, yours to spend, however way you choose.
If you’re generally respectful towards, and compassionate with, your friends, on the overall basis, no explanations or excuses are ever needed.
If you’re not generally respectful and compassionate towards your friends, then you’ve got bigger problems than how your defined by yourself and others. haha.
Either way… whichever way you cut it…
Nobody wants to hear your excuses. haha.
We all have our own lives we’re dealing with too, after all.
People will respect your time more if you don’t make it out as if your time is any more precious than theirs. And you might unwittingly do that if you’re not careful about how you relate to people. And they will retaliate. Either overtly or covertly.
People might cut you slack, but you’re going to pay for it, one way or another, believe me.
You chose your course in life. It’s not an excuse. Don’t use it as one.
And please, someone explain to me why people answer their phones like Pavlov’s dogs salivated. ?? It’s preposterous. Unless you’re, at that moment, on-call as part of your job duties, or waiting to hear about some current emergency situation, there’s absolutely no reason one has to answer the phone every time it rings.
And since the advent of caller-ID & voicemail (or even answering machines), there’s absolutely no reason to answer the phone in order to tell the caller you’re waiting for another call from someone else. (That one I never understand.)
I repeat…
JUST BECAUSE THE PHONE RINGS DOES NOT MEAN YOU MUST ANSWER IT.
Indeed, it’s more polite to just see if the call was pressingly urgent by checking the message, and calling back when you have more than 5-10 minutes to talk, than it is to answer the phone and tell someone you don’t have time for them.
And cell phones are meant to be a CONVENIENCE… NOT an INconvenience. They mean you won’t miss an important call, that you can make a call or receive a call from anywhere. They do NOT mean you MUST answer any and all calls that come into them, just because you carry it with you.
The whole thing comes down to “excuses”. Believe me, I speak from years of experience. Having been someone who made lots of excuses in the past, and having heard a million of them from others.
Excuses exshmooses!
Explaining yourself to people constantly gives them a source of defining you by them. It also sets it up so that you always feel the need to explain yourself. And that’s how you wind up feeling like a slave to everyone around you. And if that happens, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
Well, whatever I was going to comment is completely gone. I’m too exhausted from reading Chloe’s comment ;-)
She has a point or two though.
Mostly, I think I was just going to tell you it sounds to me like you’re stressed. Find a way to work that off occasionally. It’s better to take breaks from studying, such as web surfing even if it’s not keeping your mind spinning. Just saying this because I’ve been there. Not studying medicine, but still major studying while working for years (finance) so, whew, take breaks when you can. Mental moments of peace :-)
hah!
Sorry, I do tend to get carried away with my rants about people who find cell phones to be a “ball & chain”, whenever the topic of being (even possibly) “disturbed by a phone call” comes up.
Maybe I should’ve posted the aside tangent to my own blog. Maybe I will! haha.
I will take the moment now to say that my main point was that nobody need be defined by anything in particular, and though we cannot always control how others see us, we can always control how we interact with others – with some thought and practice.
And personally, I define this blog’s author as a fellow member of the human race, and a living creature upon planet Earth. ;)
Amen brother, I am study-a-holic, hear me scribble. With two shelf exams tomorrow AM, I know exactly where you’re coming from. When you’re expected to know everything a doctor knows about neuroanatomy and be able to recall it in a moment’s notice, yeah, I think we get a little leeway in the study-is-life department.